How to get yourself out of the blues or a bad mood

One of the easiest is through eye movement!

Yeah, I know that probably sounds dopey — so let me explain.

You may or may not have heard about eye movement before. There’s a quick overview on the NLP FAQ page or more in depth information in Your Eyes Are Talking: A Simple Guide to NLP Eye Accessing

Here’s a quick revision:

When we move our eyes up, and to our right or left, we tend to access images in our mind. Try picturing your favourite child… just joking!

What does your favourite chair look like? Chances are you looked up and to your left (or maybe straight ahead.)

Moving your eyes directly across, level with your ears helps to access auditory information. Looking down and to your left assists you to hear your self-talk. And you can more easily grasp your feelings and emotions when you look down and to your right.

Familiar information — usually visual — can be found by looking straight ahead

Ok, now think about the physiology of someone who’s feeling unhappy.

How do they carry themselves?

When I ask people this question, they instantly tell me that they’d expect the person to be looking down, perhaps also with rounded shoulders, and that they might even be sighing heavily. No-one has ever told me that they’d see an unhappy person looking up and with their shoulders back.

When we look down, we usually talk more slowly and with a flatter tone. When we look up, our natural tendency is to increase our talking speed — and our voice sounds more upbeat and has extra rhythm and tone. Try it out for yourself.

Think of the language we use when we feel unhappy

• Feeling down.
• Feeling low.
• Depressed (even the word means to push something down forcibly — usually emotions).
• Downcast.
• Low-spirited.
• Down in the dumps.
• Down in the mouth.
• Downbeat.
• Heavy-hearted.
• Disheartened.
• Feeling down-right miserable (can’t get much more specific than that!).
• Drooping.
• Touchy.
• Discontented.
• Upset.

Of course, looking down left doesn’t necessarily mean someone is depressed or unhappy; their eye movement might indicate they’re searching for something to say or talking to themselves. A person looking down to their right could also be remembering what it feels like to stroke a pet, or thinking about how good they feel! However, these more positive thinking patterns have different body postures associated with them — and different words.

When we’re feeling better about life, we’ll use different language:

• Things are looking up.
• Look on the bright side/upside.
• Enlightened.
• Clearer perspective on life.
• We tell others to ‘Lighten up.’
• Life seems brighter.
• Chin up.

Notice that they are visual words and phrases. And our physiology changes to match our eye movement. When we move our eyes to access visually, we tend to look up and out; focusing on what we see, Shoulders are back and chest out, we breathe normally, and we feel more ready to face and engage with the world.

Do you still believe the language we use is coincidental?

While it’s important to acknowledge all your emotions, it’s not necessary to remain in an unwanted emotional state. Your state is often dependent upon your thinking. So if you’re experiencing a sad state, it’s a good idea to examine what you’re saying to yourself and where you’re looking.

Words have a massive impact on our emotional state, but you don’t need to take my word for it. Experience it first hand in How Words Affect Your Health.

How to put this information to good use to cheer yourself up

• Your eye movement helps you access different parts of your brain.
• The words you use often reflect what you’re doing in your head.
• To change a downbeat state or a bad mood, keep your head straight, and move your eyes up.
• Focus all your attention on what you see. One way to do this is to describe the detail of what you see; for example; “I can see a mandarin tree with one mandarin left on it. Behind that, there’s a white fence. In the distance, I can see water and the undulating land on the other side of the harbour etc.” You’ll probably begin to notice more rhythm and tone in your voice, and you’ll start to speak more quickly.

Notice how you feel after doing this.

It means you no longer need to live at what might sometimes feel like the whims of nature. Start by noticing what you’re doing in your head and then take some of the steps above to improve your mood.

I find the connection between language, physiology and eye movement infinitely fascinating.

For more simple options to put yourself in an optimal state head over to 7 Super-Easy Tips To Cheer Yourself Up Fast — Using Only Your Body And Mind

And if you’d like some support working through unwanted emotional states, we can get down to the nitty-gritty with some SHIFT Coaching and start moving you to better frames of mind — long term.

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If you tried this out I’d love to know what results you experienced.

Tags: Body language, Language, Managing mood and emotions, Self-awareness, Self-confidence and self-esteem